#OccupyChristmas

“My presents are wrapped with bureaucratic tape”

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 23:38:40 -0500

“My presents are wrapped with bureaucratic tape”

“Tinsel is renewable”

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 16:00:23 -0500

“Tinsel is renewable”

“Santa’s sleigh runs on clean, natural Christmas...

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 12:28:08 -0500

“Santa’s sleigh runs on clean, natural Christmas spirit”

“No cookie taxation without milk representation”

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 07:44:58 -0500

“No cookie taxation without milk representation”

PERSON OF THE YEAR

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 00:19:00 -0500

PERSON OF THE YEAR

“No more reindEARMARKS”

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:43:14 -0500

“No more reindEARMARKS”

“No more gingerbread house foreclosures”

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:28:44 -0500

“No more gingerbread house foreclosures”

“Just like Christmas morning…time to WAKE UP!”

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 06:52:18 -0500

“Just like Christmas morning…time to WAKE UP!”

“Protect white elephants”

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 01:05:19 -0500

“Protect white elephants”

“A SANTA AT NASA Christmas palindrome, or Gov’t...

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:04:18 -0500

“A SANTA AT NASA Christmas palindrome, or Gov’t waste?

“I can’t get a mortgage because of ghosts of...

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 11:35:26 -0500

“I can’t get a mortgage because of ghosts of Christmas past”

“The North Pole is too big to fail”

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 08:18:08 -0500

“The North Pole is too big to fail”

OCCUPY CHRISTMAS Fuels Up: Christmas Lasagna

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 01:40:00 -0500

Occupying is exhausting. Santa has marched on the White House, the U.S. Capitol, the Washington Monument, the U.S. Treasury, and the National Christmas Tree. He has huddled in the tents of McPherson Square. He has been pepper sprayed. He has helped himself to ample supplies of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and granola, he has paper cuts. He has been on an #occupychristmas rampage, and now he is tired and hungry.

Santa cannot live on PB&J and granola alone, he needs real energy. He is wasting away to nothing without proper amounts of glucose. Last year, he invented Christmas Nachos to address this specific problem. Unfortunately, he and his fellow protesters have grown tired of Latin-North Polian fusion cooking.

He contemplated Christmas Tapas, but the small portion sizes were so unfulfilling, unsatisfying, un-Christmas. The only option was to conjure up a hearty Christmas recipe with enough bold Christmas flavor to kick the movement up a notch, you guys.

Santa came up with a quick solution that had the flavor profiles of the season, but also featured all the ingredients available while fulfilling the portion size requirements. Behold, Christmas Lasagna:

It all starts with a sturdy and deep lasagna pan. The bigger the better. There are so many wrongs that need righted, maximum fuel is required to keep Santa running at peak condition. Next, it is important to know that the classic Italian lasagna is all about layering. Alternating flavors and textures is what the dish is built on, and a tasty sauce brings it all together.

The flavors and textures of Christmas lasagna come from some classic dessert staples: graham crackers, chocolate, marshmallows, cookies, and chocolate candy. The sauce is what Santa calls black gold: rich chocolate double fudge brownie batter. The recipe is as delicious as it is simple. Stack, smother, bake, enjoy. Four easy steps to keep your blood sugar safely in the Danger Zone.

1. Stack: Structural integrity is the key here, but don’t be shy with the application. Start with a basic recipe that most kids mastered when they were 7 years old playing baseball on the sandlot.

Layer of graham

Layer of chocolate

Layer of marshmallows (Note: smaller marshmallows melt better)

Layer of graham (s’more base complete)

Flatten standard pre-made Pillsbury sugar cookie dough evenly, but large enough to cover the s’more base layer completely. (Note: thin is important here because it reduces the required cook time of the sugar cookie layer).

Carefully apply sugar cookie dough. (Note: sticky and difficult to work with, do the best you can.)

Remove chocolate candies from wrapping and apply evenly to the sugar cookie layer. Use Reese’s peanut butter cups and Kit Kat bars because the candy discussion starts and ends with Reese’s and Kit Kats. Grow up.

Make super chocolate fudge brownie sauce (Note: if the box has an option for a version that is extra gooey/fudgey, use it. If it doesn’t, subtract one egg from the directions.)

Apply evenly to the structural components of the lasagna to ensure even cooking, melting, and proper adhesion to all layers.

Bake until just before the brownies are completely done for the gooiest results.

Let cool before cutting.

Enjoy.

“Does McCain-Feingold regulate donations to my Christmas...

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 18:36:38 -0500

“Does McCain-Feingold regulate donations to my Christmas Party?”

“Peg the Euro to the Candy Cane”

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 08:45:45 -0500

“Peg the Euro to the Candy Cane”

“‘Our CEO works for free’ -Elves”

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 01:02:00 -0500

“‘Our CEO works for free’ -Elves”

“Equal pay for all mall Santas”

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 00:59:53 -0500

“Equal pay for all mall Santas”

“Congress is on my naughty list”

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 00:58:00 -0500

“Congress is on my naughty list”

OCCUPY CHRISTMAS: The movement Begins

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 00:55:00 -0500

We decided it was time to mobilize. Our voices must be heard.

“#Occupy Christmas”

Gratuitous Christmas Puppy: Christmas Corgi

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 08:28:36 -0500

Yup.